Thursday, February 6, 2014

Who will protect you?


Duh! Clearly Darth Vader is the best choice.

The Terminator and Robocop are both loyal as dogs and about as useful. They might, on a good day, stop Marv and Judge Dredd but Wolverine would use them as a shortcut to slicing my neck. Besides Judge Dredd is too likely to execute me for jaywalking and I'd have to sleep with Marv to motivate him.

Batman is only a moody guy in a suit whose high tech gadgets look like stone age weapons compared to the Predator. And the Predator as a bodyguard? A hunter more interested in skinning Hellboy then protecting me? No thanks.

No, clearly Darth Vader is the best choice. The star wars universe is littered with junk heaps of former droids so Robocop and the Terminator shouldn't cause any problems. Judge Dredd or Marv against a Sith? Please. The Predator's cloaking field is no match for force senses while Batman's nasal  problems would prove fatal against a force choke. Wolverine and Hellboy may have attitude but can their bodies endure sith lightning and a lightsaber?

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